Friday, September 11, 2015

How to Scare Potential Readers Away With Your Theme | Book Blogging Tips (#16)

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If you're a little like me, your theme is probably the bane of your existence as well.

I'm constantly editing it, never quite getting it right and spend days trying to edit a single thing, but then end up not liking the end result.

You can have the best content in the world, when your theme is terrible, you'll never get the recognition you deserve.


Here are fourteen DON'Ts in regards to your theme.


! CAUTION: Sarcasm ahead ! 


1. Pop-Ups and Ads Wherever You Can.
Yeah, ads are always a great idea if you're looking to earn money with your blog. You should totally start advertising early on, even if you get only a hundred views per month.
The more ads the better. Make sure to remind your readers to subscribe to your email newsletter every five minutes with a pop-up, they'll be very grateful for the reminder.

2. Low Contrast Script and Background
Pastel colors, am I right? How about a beige background with a light pink script? Looks fashionable. Who cares whether you can read the posts, as long as it looks pretty.
Aesthetics over content all the way.

3. Show ALL THE BADGES
Yes you're a proud member of Team Damon, Team Edward, Team Maxon, Team Ash, Team Stark, Team Patch, The Shadowhunters and so many more! Make sure to add all your fandoms so your readers will know what you love to read about.
Don't forget to add a badge for every tag award you've ever gotten.

4. Avantgarde Themes
There's a reason standard blogging templates are so frowned upon. Show us your graphic designer skills and give us a theme filled with animations and giant pictures. It has to be a challenge for the reader to find your posts, else they aren't worthy of reading them anyways.

5. A LOT of Friendship Buttons
Show off all the friends you made in the blogging world. Don't only put three or four on your site. It's like facebook, the more friends you have, the cooler you are.

6. Sidebar Taller Than You Are
The more widgets the better. It's not cluttered, there are a lot of options for the reader to explore!!

7. List All Authors and Publishers That Support You
It's very important to make sure that you thank all 89 authors and publishers that sent you a review copy. It's even more important when you've been blogging for ten years. You can't miss a single name. Don't put it on an extra page either, it has to be on the front page.

8. Typos + No Proofreading
Were all humans. Typos make you evn more symptaehtic. Prof reading just takes up mroe time. Let's get it all online quiasly. its not liek you can´t undesrtand what I#M typing is it

9. Release Day Widgets. All of Them.
The more, the better. I mean, your readers have to know what you're currently waiting on. Don't let them know in a post. It's all about visualization.

10. Super-slim Themes
The slimmer the better. That's the 2015
look. If your sentences all have to be
shortened and look like haikus now
then you're absolutely doing it right.
Scrolling is a form of exercise as well,
you're doing your readers a favor
They should pay you for that service if
you think about it.

11. Stop Formatting
It's only a waste of time. Don't even use paragraphs. You'll save a lot of time and will be able to dedicate that time to reading more.

12. Did Somebody Say Comic Sans?
You don't know what people are talking about, it's not like you're running a business blog. Comic Sans in bright yellow is a perfectly acceptable font to run a blog in your spare time. Everybody calm down.

13. Animations and Customized Cursors
Come on, who doesn't want those back? Remember how awesome our myspace pages looked? You're aiming for the nostalgic look and it's working. Maybe add some glitter or falling snow while you're at it.

14. Unreadable Colors
Seriously, if they'd take the time and effort to read your posts, they'd be able to. It's not like your writing for the uneducated masses. Your blog posts are important and making a difference so it can't be that hard to highlight them with a right-click if they have problems reading them, jeez.




Always remember: Blogging isn't an exact science.

Even if you have some or most of these things on your blog, who cares? It's still your blog and it has to look pretty to YOU! I'm sure there are a lot of people who think my theme is absolutely terrible. To each their own, my friends.


I hopĆ¼e this could help you out a litlle and nyou know now aht not do when you're wiring a blog post Obviously everyone's approaches are different. Team EdwwarD!!



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